Here Comes The Change

A Bright Shining Light, Shayla

“Because the world is at odds and in a fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the Universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding.” ~ JC 

December 12^th comes upon me in various degrees of emotions. Sometimes as a slow, churning build where upon I brace myself for it. Often though while I ‘prepare’ for the worst day of my life, the sensation of being in a box smashed upon the jagged sea cliffs takes form and  my mothering instincts take over. It is then that I gather myself onto my knees and pray for the courage needed— to take on the day, my daughter died. 

This year, I was inspired by a post on my Facebook by The BACKPACK PROJECT, which I used as a guide to give back on this day. I set about creating signs and putting alot of thought into how I would carry out the message of putting Christ back into Christmas. 

Another inspiration that provided encouragement was my Brave Girl’s Club. I receive messages that speak to my soul and with it, a light on my path to burn brighter. 

Dear Valiant Soul,

Times will come in your life, when what you’ve always done just isn’t working anymore. You may be in one of those times right now. These can be some of the most frustrating and intimidating periods of your life. So often, we human beings either continue doing the things that aren’t working, or we find ourselves completely paralyzed and unable to move forward.
We are able to move forward, when we see what is really happening and how essential this new challenge may be to our well-being and our soul’s progression. Knowing this doesn’t make the required changes easy, but it does make them easier.
You see, things are always changing, no matter what. We change constantly, whether we realize we are changing or not. Sometimes we think we are failing when things aren’t working the way they used to work. What is true though, dear friend, is that as we are learning, and growing, and changing, other things are changing too. The world changes. The people around us change. Our circumstances change. Our abilities change. Others’ abilities change. Our dreams change. Our desires change. Our relationships change. EVERYTHING changes.
And that is good and necessary. It doesn’t always feel that way though, does it?
Friend, when things that used to work stop working . . . whether it is a relationship, or a job, or a body part, it usually means you’ve reached a new level of something that will require change to get to the next level — where things will work better, differently. This is especially painful when you really love the way things have been working. But, no matter how much we love what exists, it is going to change, which means we have to change too.
It takes lots of courage to let go of what isn’t working and go in search of what will work. It’s uncomfortable. But on the other side of it, it’s worth it. When you decide to do it, you’ll soon see that you fall in love with the new way that works. And life is good again. Stay strong and courageous during the in-between stage. You’re heroic.
And you are so very loved. xoxo

I had to be honest with myself in how I was still reeling from the completion of my last job. I struggle with the fact that I was left crushed by the continual barrage of being singled out. What made the hardship cut deeper was that my daughter had also been bullied. It is a feeling of helplessness when one feels even more broken, with no one standing up for you. Despite the oppression, both Shayla and I have experienced, we as believers not only forgave those who were the cause of severe anxiety…we rallied for change.

With a mindset of wanting to merge the past with the present, I set out to give back and in doing so, the ripples transformed a day of loss into a day of hopefulness. 

Before I began my long day, I went to a local cemetery and placed a bouquet of flowers I had purchased, onto the headstone of another 21 year old girl, whose life had ended far too soon…years ago. 

After I was dropped off to catch the bus, I sat intently with the Facebook post before me. I made a few ‘tweaks’ of adjustment to reflect the same message.

First on my “Christmas Bucket List” was to Feed the hungry…

I achieved this with the purchase of two tickets to the Aurora Winter Festival in Vancouver…

Each generous donation will ensure a family can continue to share meals and moments together at Ronald McDonald House BC while their child receives life- saving medical treatment.

Next up was to Clothe the needy. I copied the list from THE BACKPACK PROJECT of items they needed. Purchasing a cloth sack, I wrote on it “ANGEL SHAYLA,” and the date 12/18. Since my time was limited, I tossed all of my purchases including toques, winter socks, scarves and other much needed items inside and delivered them to the donation bin at The Foxy Box. Upon telling the Assistant Manager, Bailey about my purpose, she shared about the loss of her beloved grandmother. It was the beginning of a thread I would unravel that day, connected to others who had experienced the heartache of losing a loved one. 

The following Forgive the Guilty made me think of the new Viola Desmond $10.00 bank note.  The guilty being those who both removed Mrs. Desmond from her theatre seat and those who forcibly kept her in jail, violating her rights.

Viola Desmond was a Canadian Black Nova Scotian businesswoman who challenged racial segregation at a cinema in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, in 1946. She refused to leave a whites-only area of the Roseland Theatre. Desmond's case is one of the most publicized incidents of racial discrimination in Canadian history and helped start the modern civil rights movement in Canada.

On the back of the new Viola Desmond vertical $10 bank note is part of the Canadian Charter of Rights.

Welcome the unwanted. I decided to go to City Hall where a sign is now in place of the John A. Macdonald statue. Beforehand, I had researched the atrocities Mr. Macdonald left as part of his legacy against the Indigenous Peoples. By receiving those whose mark in history is of abhorrence, this allows us to help further educate about Canada’s sordid past. The past should be on display and not silenced by shame.

The first Prime Minister is not the only one to have created controversy, as others followed in his place.  I would rather gaze upon his statue as a teaching tool –reminders of Macdonald’s instigation of starving and suffering against the Indigenous Peoples – than have his replica stored away. It removes the freedom to talk openly about our country's national abuse of power. 

I placed a painted stone by my late daughter, at the base of it as a sombre remembrance of our roots.

Walking past a construction site, I saw a man standing in the rain, with a hat stuck out to gather money. I selected my $3.00 in change and placed them into his cap. I explained what my purpose was of the day and the passing of my daughter. 
“Dave,” said how sorry he was to hear of such a loss and began to chat with me. Years ago, he was a construction worker and over time, he received nerve damage. Showing me his one hand, he went on to tell me the cause of his excruciating pain. Dave also had a pinched nerve in his neck. Recently he had been denied Permanent Disability. This elder man was grateful he had a home, but would beg on the streets when he needed extra cash. Before we parted, Dave shared about the passing of his mother and how much he missed her. Another connection we had, was having our hearts touched by the deaths of our loved ones.

Later, at Walmart, I spoke to an employee who let me set up items for a picture:

Care for the injured. While I shared about my purpose, the worker began to tell me about his own tragic loss. His young son and grandparents, all had perished in a car accident together. Tears formed in this man's eyes and soon we were locked in a ‘grief moment’ together.   

One of the other things on my list was raw with emotion. I walked to the Inner Harbour and set up three stones. On the other side I had written the names of those who had bullied me. I said their names out loud and spoke forgiveness over each one before adding: 
Love your enemies and released them into the depths of the sea. 

 

11 hours later, I ended my day with letting go of something that was seven years in the making. Ever since Shayla died, I have worn her winter jacket. The jacket was the one I found her Agate stone, clear Quartz, Amethyst and Hematite in, wrapped around a tattered note I had written four years earlier. All of which, were tucked away in a black velvet pouch, in a hidden pocket. Years ago, the stones were removed and placed into a special deerskin pouch, waiting to be gifted to the right person at a specific time. 
With regards to the winter coat, every time I put it on, it was like a hug from heaven. I never thought I could part with it, until I was amongst those who are homeless. My perspective changed in such a way that I know it is time for me to gift the coat to someone else in need.  

Upon buying a new, affordable jacket of my own that was on sale, I boarded another bus. I was about to swipe the bus pass gifted to me by a dear friend, when panic set in as I could not find it. The driver motioned for me to take a seat, yet all I could think of was the pass still had 19 days of use. Frantically, I began to look thru all of my things, when suddenly a woman approached. She introduced herself as Lisa and what she did next had everyone on the bus stare. With a kind gesture, she gave me her December Bus Pass for the month. I was overwhelmed…probably given the day of connecting with others, I began to sob. My last item on my Christmas Bucket List had come true in a reversal of blessings…

Do unto others as you would have done unto you. 

I thanked Lisa profusely as I gathered my bags together. Right before she departed, I saw in the side of a bag of mine, my bus pass. I was able to give hers back with a big hug! When I went to get off at my stop, I noticed the bus driver smiling. 

“That was something else to see!” he chimed.

It was only later upon arriving at my place that I burst into tears, Grabbing my pillow, I released all of what the day had entailed. Looking over at a photograph of my daughter, full of light and love, I glanced at a picture on my phone that brings me peace. It is called: “Arrival In Heaven.” 
I have imagined this is what my daughter encountered when she left this earthly realm for the heavenly one. The first time I saw this image, I broke into tears…not of sorrow, but of joy. 

 

This December 12^th had many other heartwarming encounters. Yet I give thanks for a simple posting I took to heart and completed on a day no parent should have to endure.

In doing so, I believe I fulfilled my purpose in keeping Christ in Christmas!

Please Watch this video tribute I created to honour Shayla Rae Dawn and others who have made positive change. 

Song and Lyrics to Here Comes The Change by Kesha https://youtu.be/Vjcy_U6mEdA

 By TL Alton